I want to talk about this concept because I feel that this might soon be happening to a lot of people. And of course, this is my perspective, other people will have their own unique experience.
My awakening began in earnest after my Kundalini activation in Nov. 2014. You can read more about that in my previous articles – Kundalini Activation through meeting Twin Flame and Kundalini Activation – Snake Dreams, Twin Flame Dreams.
The phase called “Dark Night of the Soul” will be different for everyone, but for me the Kundalini activation began a process where the energy began clearing blocks in my chakras – which takes time. For some, the activation can lead to enlightenment right away.
So as this energy does it’s thing – a lot of soul searching activity goes on. For me, this led to a lot of researching online and through reading books.
A lot of people somehow quite mysteriously, all seem to come across the work of Dolores Cannon. In case you don’t know who she is, she was a hypnotherapist who worked with clients who eventually began telling her some very interesting things that she documented through books. I had read one of her books “The Three Waves of Volunteers” and I had begun reading another one of her books called “The Convoluted Universe” and it was probably for the me, the straw that broke the camel’s back and thus my Dark Night of the Soul began in about March/April 2016.
It’s hard to remember the pain, and even harder to describe the type of pain that I was in.
I actually talked to someone else who had a Kundalini activation and they experienced the same – except for they had more of an enlightening experience after they experienced the “Dark Night of the Soul.”
I feel like it was my ego trying to die, but it wouldn’t, or couldn’t figure out how to make it happen. My friend said that they just surrendered, but I apparently did not know how to do that.
To give context to what is happening internally, I think I had been reading and digesting these various perspectives on “reality” and it all came to a head while reading Dolores’ book.
Some of these concepts included the perspective that “I am God, I create my own reality”. So this understanding to me, really affected my psyche. And I’m not a mental health professional in any way, so I may be totally off base here, but that is my perspective.
I don’t think we appreciate how much our psyche is impacted by our core beliefs. I always had this perspective that there was this “God” out there that I could pray to when I was down, that “had my back.” And now, it was like, well what now? Do I pray to myself? It’s just me??
Not only that, but I had also learned about the Earth’s true history. I had never really understood the concept of Jesus (I’ll do another post on that another time) and I thought the whole Adam and Eve story was weird, but I think I had always believed in humans, the normal story.
But since my awakening began, I had learned about the Annunaki, the Ancient Builder Race, our connection to other galactic races as “Starseeds” incarnating here on Earth, the Reptilians running the show as the Elite. I had learned about the beings from Lyra, Pleiades, Sirius and the Extra Terrestrial beings living here on Earth. So my whole identify and my place in the Universe and how I fit in had been turned upside down.
These two main concepts – I am God and I am not who I thought I was and our place in the Universe is vastly different than what I thought – I believe these were what finally caused me to have my Dark Night of the Soul.
I felt like I had nothing to stand on, my foundational beliefs had been demolished.
I remember I literally felt like I was falling while I was laying on my bed. It was this out of control like feeling and it was terrifying. I remember it felt like a series of mini nervous breakdowns – like each one was getting worse.
I felt this internal struggle going on – like my ego was trying to die, but I wouldn’t let it die. I just remember it was an internal pain like I had never known before.
But, my ego did not die – and I did not achieve ‘enlightenment’ which is what happens to many people after this process. If you are in the Spiritual Community, then you are probably very well aware of the people that have reached a certain level of enlightenment. I consider them my teachers. However, I believe that they are not always the best people to assist others because they are so far advanced – they almost become unrelatable. And I think that is partly why I kept myself at a certain level – in order to help those that are just in the process of waking up.
I believe 2020 is going to be one of those years where people will be forced to wake up – and probably rather abruptly.
These past years of these energetic waves that have been washing over the Earth – they are packets of Consciousness that are bringing darkness to light. We have to deal with our inner demons, this energy is not letting up. The time is up for those that have refused to look within themselves and address their traumas. Many of us have had years to process and work on ourselves and achieve a certain state of inner balance.
My hope for those that are still asleep is that they are able to navigate what is coming with as much assistance and guidance from those that are leading the way through this Great Awakening. Wayshowers – I believe our time is here.
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3 thoughts on “Dark Night of the Soul”
“I want to talk about this concept because I feel that this might soon be happening to a lot of people.” *nodding emphatically*
Heather, have you read much of my blog? I ask because of this:
“If you are in the Spiritual Community, then you are probably very well aware of the people that have reached a certain level of enlightenment. I consider them my teachers. However, I believe that they are not always the best people to assist others because they are so far advanced – they almost become unrelatable.”
Many of those have been my teachers also and yet they are not where I am and could stand to learn a few things from me. Throughout, I kept my priorities straight.
I’m about as advanced as they get and yet I care about fundamentals, which I feel many lightworkers (LWs) still don’t get. They talk like Masters Degree level stuff when they have yet to master kindergarten. And also, unlike many of the “popular” LWs, I speak plain and simple English. I like to say I “take the mystery out of the mystery.”
I also care about practicality. Here is one example… many talk about the Merkaba and might say something like “it’s your ascension vehicle” and they get into all sorts of metaphysical psycho-babble, sadly often times, such folks are into “spiritual commerce” and want to make money off of folks and so intentionally don’t spell things out because they want you coming back to them… with wallet open. And anything at that metaphysical psycho-babble level is NOT important, is not what helps people get the job done and is actually taken care of by higher aspects of ourselves.
So… I talk about the Merkaba in pragmatic ways. In a nutshell, it’s about the Integration of Masculine and Feminine energy. Just that simple. See my post:
That’s just one example.
And actually Heather, a lot of those “lofty-speaking” LWs are really caught in “pea brain” (lower mind / left-brain intellect), which loves all the “mind candy” and loves to try to decipher silly, long-winded channeled messages, etc. INSTEAD of actually fully utilizing their right-brain, Divinely-connected INTELLIGENCE.